I don't know why all of a sudden I am feeling so low. Maybe its all the excitement and adrenaline wearing off as we get into our new normal life. I find myself crying over everything. Commercials, certain things Olivia says or does, seeing a pregnant woman at the store.
A lot of my feelings I feel are due to missing pregnancy. I am one of those women who love every minute of it. The excitement, the ultraounds, the kicks, morning sickness all of it. I enjoy the good, the bad, and the ugly. I ultimately love labor and of course delivery. I remember feeling this way with Olivia. Its awful. I hate that time goes so quickly. I hate that Stella is almost 2 weeks old. As silly as that sounds.
I hate feeling this way. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. I hate that I want to go back to two weeks ago. Why can't I live in the present and just be happy with this beautiful little baby we have been blessed with? I want to re-live the day before having her just one more time. I want to re-live being in agonizing pain of labor. I want to savor every second...every minute.
Maybe a part of me is afraid I won't have this opportunity again. As badly as I want 3 children, what if it doesn't happen? I have been blessed with two beautiful girls which I got pregnant so easily and had two amazing pregnancies...what if that was it? I probably don't make much sense right now. I am just trying to type out exactly how I feel. I'm hoping it will help me get through this baby bluesyness.
I feel like I am stuck. Everyone has gone back to their routines and way of life and I am stuck in a rut. The world is going on around me and I can't get out of the house. Literally because Matt's truck is in the shop. I can't even have a little retail therapy.
I feel like a little girl. I want my mom! I didn't think this was going to happen this time since Olivia is here to occupy me and keep things lively. I don't know why now, almost 2 weeks have gone by and I have felt pretty good emotionally...I don't know why all of a sudden I feel so blah.
I don't feel like I am going into postpartum depression, but I have thought about calling my doctor to possibly get on meds before it goes that far. The nurse said the signs they look for are not wanting to get out of bed and not take care of the baby etc...which I feel fine, its just the stupid weepiness. Plus I have snapped at Olivia and I yelled at her pretty badly on Saturday. I felt horrible afterwards because she cried after I yelled. I never meant to do that. I was just to the point of snapping and it was wrong of me to yell at her.
I just need someone to listen to me. Sorry for babbling.
6 comments:
OH my dear Carebear. I believe what you are going thru is very normal. Not that its a fair comparison but alot of people including myself get that way after the Holidays as well. You go from all the busyness, excitement, shopping, baking, all the time with family and then after Christmas it all goes back to normal and it can bring on the blues. I get it every year and I think that may be happening to you with pregnancy and giving birth. All the excitement and enjoyment you got out of pregnancy, and labor and delivery and now she's here and things are less busy as far as preparation and excitement goes. It will pass tho because as soon as your new little Stella starts doing new things, it will light you up and you will move on to the adventures of her milestones. Hang in there girly, you are not alone. Another huge part are your hormones so don't stress it, it will get better! Love you!
Oh my goodness..I am so sorry. I am calling you right now.
I think it is all normal. Most of it is probably hormones that will even out soon. The what if's everyone has, you will feel better soon. I find chocolate helps in these situations ;) I hope you feel better soon, get lots of rest and enjoy those beautiful blessings, they are wonderful!
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Sorry, I just saw this. You should have called me!!! I hope you are feeling better. This will pass and everything you are feeling is totally normal. You can't control your hormones and they are what is making you feel so bad right now. Try not to go the meds route if you can help it - they are hard to wean off of. Give it a little more time, and of course, I can come over anytime you want me to - you just have to CALL! :)
Sending you love, thoughts, and prayers Carrie. Postpartum blues are normal...we've all had them! They wouldn't let me leave the hospital with the triplets without a prescription for an anti depressant because of my hormones. I am glad! I needed them!!! I am thinking of you everyday. It will get easier and you will find so much joy in being a mommy of 2. It takes time to adjust, for all of you! I love you!!!
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