The song I have playing reminds me of an old friend of mine. We were inseparable in high school and even after high school for a couple years. I don't know what happened or how things fell apart between us, but somehow things changed. I asked her to be a bridesmaid in my wedding. She agreed, but a couple months into my planning she wrote me a note and sent it in the mail telling me she didn't want to be a part of my wedding. Her reasoning was that we were growing apart and that she had never met Matt before. It broke my heart. She said in her letter that she understood if I didn't want to talk or see her again. If anyone knows me well enough, you know I am not the type of person to hold a grudge let alone give up on a long friendship. I did call her and we did talk, but that was the last time we spoke. Not because I didn't want to, she was unresponsive to me. This was in 2001, I hadn't seen or talked to her until I ran into her at Target in April, 2007. I didn't see her, but she saw me and called out my name. It was so nice to see her, we exchanged phone numbers and I thought it would be a fresh start. I called her a few times, left her messages and she never returned my calls. I finally thought "screw it" obviously she doesn't want to be friends anymore, otherwise she would have made an effort.
She requested me as a friend on Facebook a few months ago. She sent me a message saying she wants to stay in touch. I am fine with that, especially since its through a networking website. I don't have to call her or see her in person. She can make the effort this time...I am done. It saddens me that someone who I considered a best friend can change so much. She got married October 13, 2007 (which is kind of strange since mine and Matt's anniversary is October 12th) and seems to be very happy with where she is in life. I want nothing but the best for her. I don't understand why people say things they don't mean. People change and move on to better things. Maybe I was naive into thinking we would always be friends.
6 comments:
sounds to me like something major happened in her life maybe she doesn't know how to deal with or talk about. you did what you could. it is sad, i have been there. hopefully the facebook thing will open up something for you!
Maybe she was made about something with your wedding and didn't know how to tell you. Maybe she wanted to be your maid of honor or something and was hurt......I don't know. I just know that I have dealt with things in the same way. I don't like to tell people they hurt me, so I make up some excuse why we can't be friends instead of coming out and saying what it is I am upset about and then drop the relationship! I am sooo guilty of this and its mostly because I hate confrontation so instead of confronting a situation I avoid it. I hope you guys can build a new friendship together now!!!
whoa my Crystal has surprised me so much lately..........
anyway, i feel for you. I have had these relationships too adn I am just like you. I always forgive and let go and it is hard. I am the cum ba ya friend who wants everyoen in a circle holding hands and not everyone is like that.
Don't try too hard Carrie. It sounds like she has a small capacity to love which can mean hurt for you....
I know who you are talking about and honestly, I think she was just being selfish and didn't want to have to deal with going out of town for your wedding, etc. and used the "we're not close anymore" excuse to get out of it. Maybe she has grown-up though and wants to change. I agree with you - let her make the effort. Tracey has been the same way with me. I thought we would be friends forever and I have tried so many times to get back to being close again and she's just not interested. So, I've given up trying and if she wants a relationship again she can be the one to ask for it this time.
i have two friends from college who are like that. for whatever reason, they will act like we're still really close, and then not contact me for a year. neither came to my wedding, although they said they would, they always say they'll come to our summer party but never do, etc. then out of the blue, they'll call and act all excited to talk to me. i've given up ever trying to talk to them, except for mass emails. i just don't have time for one sided friendships.
i agree with amy and crystal. it sounds like your friend was upset or jealous or something, and just used things as an excuse. unfortunately, people do change, and sometimes friendships just can't last through the changes
Hmm... I've been thru this kind of thing before too.
Sorry she hurt you. Maybe you both can be friends now thru Facebook and she will make the effort. If not, it sounds like you are ok with it.
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